also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
