I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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