Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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