Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
