You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Terrible idea I love it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
