You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
jump out the window naked night went bad
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