I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
