Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
