is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
