it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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