Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
