Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
