I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
