It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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