that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
