I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
