Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
