His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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