East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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