i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
this hospital has no fireball
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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