you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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