Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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