whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
