Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
