jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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