Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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