office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
