The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
