I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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