her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
