I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
