you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
