reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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