even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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