belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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