Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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