this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
