There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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