Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
