well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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