Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
