Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
