im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want her autograph on my taint
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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