id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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