things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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