Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
