remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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