So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wear drunk well.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
