you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
