The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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