so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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