In the future we'll all be gay
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
