this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
