i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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