My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
